


Limbo

by autisticaizawashouta



Series: Gender is Hard 'verse [9]
Category: Sanders Sides, Thomas Sanders
Genre: Author loves to chat in the Comments, Disabled Character, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, LGBTQ Character, Lots of uncertainty, i just kinda bs'ed my way through anything involving the hospital, i'm awkward and bad at hospitals, i... don't think so, is there even one cishet character in this?, let's throw that gender binary right out the window, lots of emotions, non-binary characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-15
Updated: 2018-03-15
Packaged: 2019-03-31 19:51:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13982118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/autisticaizawashouta/pseuds/autisticaizawashouta
Summary: Patton is so thankful for his parents' support, but the one thing he wants above anything else is for Virgil to wake up.





	Limbo

**Author's Note:**

> this is the Gender is Hard' verse so pronouns are as follows: Patton, he/him, Virgil, they/them, Remy, they/them, October, fae/faer

The first people Patton called were his parents. Alone in the hospital bathroom, shaking and breath catching, he called his mom and waited for her to pick up.

He heard the phone ringing. The fluorescent lights above his head were buzzing. Reality was malleable. He was still crying.

“Hello?” his mother said.

“Mom,” Patton sobbed. He had to get it together, he had to tell her what was going on, she’d panic if all he did was cry.

The sobs ripped themselves out of his throat. His mother was trying to say calming things to him. It took him several moments to calm down enough to start stammering comprehensible words.

“Virgil’s sick,” he said. “I’m at the hospital right now, but, oh god, mom, it- it’s not good, they have meningitis and I…” he stuttered to a stop. “I’m scared.”

“Oh, Patton, honey,” his mom said, her voice sad. “Your dad and I will see if we can get the next few days off, come down and stay with you.”

“Thank you,” Patton replied. “Mom, what if… we just thought it was the flu, I knew I should’ve taken today off to stay with them. And now?” He took a shuddery breath. “What if- what if they don’t make it?”

“Now, Patton, in the words of your dad, your Virge has spunk. Whatever happens, we’ll be there for you, and don’t think for a second that they’ll let some bacteria win,” his mom said. “Hang tight, take care of yourself, and your dad and I will see you soon. Okay?”

“Okay,” Patton replied.

“I want you to tell me that you’ll go home and sleep and make sure to eat and take care of yourself,” his mother insisted.

“I will,” Patton said. The sceptical pause his mother gave was all he needed to know what she thought of that.

“Patton,” she said.

“Okay, I’ll go home and I’ll sleep and eat and take care of myself,” Patton replied.

“Good,” his mom said. “I love you.”

“Love you too,” he said, and hung up. He gripped his phone hard and closed his eyes. Every emotion, all of the experiences of the past few hours- they felt like they were trying to tear themselves out of his chest. His best friend, one of the people he loved most in the world, could be dying.

He had to take off work. That was a phone call he wasn’t looking forward to. He’d have to wait until he was more emotionally ready to make it, except at that moment, it felt like he would never be emotionally ready.

It took a few more minutes alone, but eventually Patton was feeling marginally better. Everyone who worked in the ICU was probably used to family members being absolute messes, but if he could take some of the stress off them by handling himself and not being an absolute mess then he’d do his best.

 

Patton went home that night. Like it or not, he needed sleep and there was nothing he could do for Virgil at that moment that the nurses and physicians were incapable of doing. He had told his mother he would take care of himself, and so he would.

The apartment, when he got home, felt too empty. Caoimhe felt it too- she was less enthusiastic than she normally was when getting home.

He took a shower and ate some crackers before going to bed. Caoimhe leapt up onto it and curled up next to him, where Virgil normally slept.

When people found out that Patton and Virgil shared a bed, they generally jumped right to the assumption that they were romantically and sexually involved. Both of those assumptions were wrong. They had been sharing a bed for… around seven months.

Even with Caoimhe curled up against him, the bed felt too big. Seven months was a long time to get used to something.

At least the room still smelled like them. Patton didn’t want to think about a world that didn’t have them in it… although he might face that reality.

Patton cried himself to sleep.

 

He almost forgot to call in to work in the morning. He took the rest of the week off- it was only Wednesday. Hopefully the kids would have a good substitute.

His mom called to let him know that she and his dad had both gotten work off and would probably be in town by noon. They could only be there for a couple days, but Patton could already feel some small relief- his mom and dad were coming. Things always looked brighter with someone around.

He was getting ready to head to the hospital, Caoimhe watching him with baleful eyes from her spot on the couch when he actually stopped to think about what would be best for her in this situation. This was the first time Virgil was in the hospital while she was with them. It might be better to have her stay with someone, at least until Virgil was conscious.

Most of the people Patton would generally call for this were at work, given how many of them were teachers. Virgil had made a few close friends through their writing group, and didn’t a couple of them work from home? Toni and Teagan, right, and Remy, although Remy was living in a dorm because of university policies. Toni wrote for various online publications and Teagan edited. The few times Patton had met them, they had been kind, even though Toni could be a bit intense. Of course, Virgil and Patton were both intense…

He was getting off-topic. He picked up his phone, and searched out Teagan’s contact.

“Hey? Teagan?” he asked, once she picked up.

“Who else would I be?” she asked. “What’s up?”

Patton took a deep breath. “Oh gosh. Uh, I’m, well, Virgil’s in the hospital and I was wondering if you and Toni could watch Caoimhe for a while, at least until we think she should come join them?”

“Wait, what?” Teagan asked. “Could you repeat that for me… but slower? Breathe this time.”

“Virgil’s in the hospital,” Patton repeated. “I was wondering if you could watch Caoimhe for a while.”

“Why’re they in the hospital?” Teagan asked, concern coloring her voice.

“Meningitis,” Patton replied, swallowing hard.

“Oh my god,” Teagan breathed. “There’s the meningitis outbreak in Remy’s dorm… And I love them, but damn my kid shares their drinks like there’s nothing to it. God, Patton, I… of course we’ll watch Caoimhe for you. How is Virgil?”

Patton took a deep breath. “They were being started on antibiotics last night. Their fever was starting to go down when I left the hospital last night.”

Teagan took a moment to breathe. “Oh, god. Do you have our address?”

“Uh, no,” Patton replied.

“Do you have something to write it down on?”

Patton retrieved a notebook and a pen. “Okay.”

Teagan gave him her address, and he clicked the pen closed and set it down on the counter.

“I’m just about to leave. I’ll text you when I’m on my way,” he said.

“Okay. I’ll see you soon,” Teagan replied before hanging up. Patton set his phone down and braced himself against the edge of the counter. He dropped his head and took deep breaths.

Feeling slightly steadier, he finished getting ready to go and leashed up Caoimhe. He left the apartment and loaded her into the car, and sent a text to Teagan before turning it on and leaving.

Teagan and Toni owned their own house, somehow. Patton would have to figure out that mystery someday, but on that particular Wednesday, it wasn’t very important. He would have been called if Virgil’s condition had… changed… overnight, but his heart was still fluttering with anxious worry and his hands felt clammy.

He parked in the street, under an oak tree. He unloaded Caoimhe, grabbed the bag with her stuff, and walked up the short driveway to the door. The street was quiet- most people were already at work and the kids were at school. There was someone washing their car- in the middle of March? Really?- and a retired couple taking a walk, but other than them, it was calm.

Patton rung the doorbell. Toni was the one who opened the door. Her long hair was pulled up in a messy bun, and she was wearing sweats and a sweatshirt.

“Teagan told me what’s going on,” she said, ushering Patton inside. “Let us know if there’s anything at all we can do to help out.”

Patton’s smile was small and fragile. “Thank you so much,” he replied. He swallowed. “This is great, you’re doing more than enough already. I heard there’s an outbreak in Remy’s dorm- is he okay?”

“Yeah, they’re fine. Worried and a little scared, but fine,” Teagan said, coming out of her room. “They’re on preventative antibiotics. I don’t think they know about Virgil yet.”

Patton shook his head. “No, it’s just- just you two, and my parents, and the nurses and physicians, I guess.”

“You should tell them soon,” Toni suggested. “If nothing else, they’ll probably want to visit.”

Patton nodded, looking down. He felt like crying again. Instead, he handed Caoimhe’s leash to Teagan and handed the bag with Caoimhe’s things in it to Toni. “Thank you so much, again,” he said.

“It’s the least we can do,” Teagan replied. Toni set the bag down.

“Do you mind if we have a hug?” she asked.

“A hug would be great,” Patton replied, and the two women moved in and hugged him. He and Toni were the same height, while Teagan was significantly shorter. He rested his head on Toni’s shoulder, and Teagan pressed herself into his side.

The hug was nice… but they weren’t who he was craving a hug from at the moment. The person he was craving a hug from wasn’t exactly capable of giving hugs at the moment.

He managed to not cry in front of Teagan and Toni. He did cry in the car.

 

Patton met his parents in the waiting room. Esme and Oliver Sanders rushed over to him and embraced him. He curled into their embrace, his hands gripping their shirts as he screwed his eyes shut, fighting back tears again. He latched onto their solid presence. Finally, he restabilized himself. He knew he was too reliant on the people around him for emotional stability, but that was the way he had always been. He was a lot better at managing it than he had once been.

After a few moments, Esme pulled back, and looked him up and down, her green eyes sweeping over him.

“You went home and slept last night, right?” she asked.

“Yes,” Patton replied. “I told you I would, didn’t I?”

“You certainly did,” she agreed, nodding slightly. “Have you eaten anything today, though?”

Patton blushed and looked at the floor. “No,” he said. From behind Esme, Oliver raised an eyebrow.

“Well, it’s about lunchtime, so why don’t we go out for lunch? You can update us on their condition and we can fuss over you,” Esme suggested. She reached over and put a hand on Patton’s shoulder.

“Okay,” Patton replied. He nodded. “Lunch sounds good.”

Esme hooked her arms into Patton and Oliver’s, pulling them by the elbows out of the waiting room.

“Whichever restaurant we choose better have a braille menu,” Oliver stated, conversationally, like he was making an observation about the weather.

“At least one of the pizza places has a braille menu,” Patton replied. “It’s the one on, uuuhhh, Eight and Chambers?”

“Pizza place it is,” Esme said.

The three of them got into his parents’ Subaru, with Esme driving.

“Okay. How do I get to Eight and Chambers?” she asked. Patton started giving directions, which thankfully, he was much better at giving directions than she generally was.

“Was that our turn?” Oliver asked, acting mildly frantic. Esme snorted.

“You can fool me, you old fart,” she said, and he laughed.

“If I’m an old fart, what does that make you?” he asked.

“We did just miss our turn,” Patton interjected, and Esme groaned.

“Now look at what you’ve done!” she said.

“I can’t,” Oliver replied. “My eyes don’t work anymore.”

Esme sighed. “Patton, you better not start, too. I can only take so many bad jokes at one time.”

They eventually made it to the pizza place. Esme was just as bad at taking directions as she was giving them, which really shouldn’t surprise Patton anymore but somehow managed to every time.

This particular pizza place was one of Patton’s favorites, and one of Virgil’s friends who was in their writing circle worked there.

Wait. Would fae be working?

Oh no. They were walking in the doors. There was no turning back.

He had been taunting the universe. Sure enough, October appeared at the counter, red hair shining under the lights. Faer features lit up when fae laid eyes on Patton.

“Hey,” fae said. “Patton, it’s good to see you. Two questions: isn’t it a school day, and where’s Virge?”

Esme looked at her son while Oliver bit his lips. Patton took a deep breath.

“Uh, well, I have one answer,” he said. “Virgil’s in the hospital.”

October dropped faer pen. “You’re kidding.”

“I wish I was,” Patton replied, looking away.

“Well,” October said, recentering faerself. “That’s tough. Let me know how things go. What’s your order?”

“Do you have a braille menu?” Oliver asked, and October nodded and reached below the counter.

“Here you go,” fae said.

Esme and Patton waited for Oliver to read his menu. It’s not often that he could actually read the menu himself, considering that surprisingly few restaurants had braille menus.

They ordered, and then headed to a table. They all sat on the same side, with Patton squished in the middle. He let his head rest on his dad’s shoulder.

October came out with their pizza. Fae set it down on their table and looked at Patton.

“My number’s in Virge’s phone. Call me for anything,” fae said.

“I will,” Patton replied, and October nodded, steeled faerself, and walked off.

The pizza, usually one of Patton’s favorite foods, tasted like cardboard in his mouth. As little appetite as he had, he still forced himself to eat something, especially with both his parents there and worrying about him.

Besides, how would they deal with it if both he and Virgil were in the hospital? He had to keep himself at least functional.

None of them talked while they ate. Patton, for his part, was feeling much less talkative than he normally did. Oliver was never the most verbose of people, and Esme, too, was taken in by the sombre atmosphere.

 

Back at the hospital, Oliver stayed with Patton while Esme drove to Patton and Virgil’s apartment to drop their stuff off and maybe grab some stuff if Patton asked for it.

“So,” Oliver started, once they were situated in Virgil’s room, out of the way and off to the side in case anything happened. “Lay it on me. How bad is it?”

Patton closed his eyes and took a steadying breath. He exhaled and opened his eyes. “I’m… not really sure. Their fever was high enough and… uh… there were…” He took a deep breath. “They had a couple seizures. There is a significant possibility of at least some brain damage.” The last statement sounded like he was repeating what someone else had said. “We… won’t know how much until they wake up.”

Oliver was still for a moment, and then he reached over to Patton and pulled him into a hug.

“Aw, kiddo,” he said. “That’s rough.”

Patton nodded, face buried in his dad’s shoulder. “What if they don’t wake up, though?” he asked, voice muffled.

“They have too much spunk,” Oliver replied. “Just you watch. They’re a fighter. And I know my kid. And I know the kid that my kid gave me no choice but to adopt. You’ll both make it through this.”

“Thank you,” Patton whispered.

“Of course,” Oliver replied. “What are dads for if not to comfort their kids?”

Patton’s grip on his dad tightened. They embraced for a few minutes, and then released.

“I’m nervous,” Patton said. “I’m not gonna, not gonna leave them, but… they could have brain damage. Things are… things are gonna change.”

“Quite a bit,” Oliver agreed. “We’ll be supporting the both of you every step of the way. And besides, our family already has experience with sudden unexpected disability. We’ve got this.”

Patton nodded, smiling small.

“Yeah, we do,” he agreed.

 

Oliver left to let Esme in the room. She sat down in his chair.

“You know,” she remarked. “I was a bit skeptical of them, when you first started talking about them. Even the first few times I met them. I was thinking, this is someone whose entire life has been troubled, how could they be healthy for our Patton, and yes, I understand that wasn’t fair to them, but you know what? I was worried.”

She paused to gather her thoughts.

“I never thought I’d ever end up worrying about them as hard as I worry about you. Evidently, I was wrong.”

Patton looked over at his mother. She was pensive, looking off to think before she spoke.

“I don’t know them as well as you do. I don’t know them as well as I know you. I do know that you love them very much, and that you consider them family, which makes them family. Whatever happens, however this all turns out? We’re with you. You’re our child, and, well, maybe we picked up an extra emo one on the way but, as happy as you’ve been lately, I could never bring myself to regret their presence in your life.”

Patton smiled at his mom, tears brimming in his eyes for what felt like the hundredth time in under twenty-four hours.

“Mom,” he said. “Mom.”

That was really all he needed to say.

 

They went back to Patton and Virgil’s apartment that evening for dinner. Esme had gone ahead to cook, and called Oliver when it was getting close to ready so he and Patton could head over.

It wasn’t as boisterous as the usual Sanders dinner, but Patton felt more hopeful than he had since the whole ordeal had begun.

Teagan had been sending Patton pictures of Caoimhe hanging out at her house, and Patton showed them to his mom and described them for his dad.

“I can’t wait to meet this dog,” Oliver said. “I wag-ger that it’ll be delightful.”

Patton laughed.

After dinner, Patton and Oliver headed back to the hospital, while Esme stayed at the apartment, tired after a long day.

At one point, Oliver left to go do something, maybe go for a walk. Patton didn’t know, he wasn’t in charge of keeping track of his dad- his dad was perfectly capable of taking care of himself.

But Patton was left mostly alone with Virgil, and all he could really do was watch his best friend, the person he thought of as a platonic soulmate, lay unconscious in a hospital bed. He would’ve distracted himself but, oh yeah, he had forgotten his phone at the apartment after dinner.

At least he could still watch their chest rising and falling.

Oliver came back soon, likely nervous about leaving Patton alone for too long. Patton wasn’t going to do anything rash, but he was in emotional distress and to be honest, so was Oliver. He sat back down in the chair and settled in to wait.

They didn’t talk much. There wasn’t much need to. Everything that needed to have been said was already said. Patton was just glad he didn’t have to be alone in this.

“We should maybe think about getting back to the apartment,” Oliver said, breaking the silence. It was close to ten o’clock, and Esme would probably already be in bed.

“Yeah, probably,” Patton agreed, sighing. “I just…” he closed his mouth and shook his head.

“I understand,” Oliver replied.

Patton took a deep breath and shifted in his chair, and relative quiet came over the room once again.

Before they left, he ran a hand through Virgil’s hair. A reminder- they were still alive. Things were hopeful.

The next day, when Virgil finally regained consciousness and Patton could see their eyes- they were grey, so grey, how Patton had missed seeing them- he cried. He bent over the side of Virgil’s bed, holding their hand to his chest, and cried.

Virgil, for their part, just squeezed Patton’s hand and smiled tiredly back at him, and Patton fell in love with them all over again.

**Author's Note:**

> patton should maybe message logan and roman. just maybe.  
> so how did i do? if you liked it, leave me a kudos! and if you have any thoughts about this, even if it's just incoherent screaming, leave me a comment! i love to talk to the people who read my stuff!  
> with love,  
> Kestrel


End file.
